Welcome to Parenting Culture, a space to learn and reflect on 20 virtues that are prerequisites to be an extraordinary caregiver. This week, we start off our journey towards being more like Shri Krishna with Virtue #1: Amanitva (Humility). We learn about what makes us controlling and complacent as caregivers, why we need to forgive ourselves for our past mistakes and how we can be more accepting of our children.
Here is the recap from our September 19 satsang:
- We are seekers first, parents second. Let us not be complacent in caregiving. Our context should not make us lose our cheer.
- Our relationships with our children are more important than how they behave; choose battles that are focused on significant matters.
- One who depends on pride (mana), is egotistical (abhimana). It is easy to offend/insult such people (apamana).
- Being egotistical gives us a strong sense of doership or controllership. Doership leads to deservership (expectation that others must obey us).
- Obedience comes from the need for respect (can only be earned, not demanded). The more respect we offer, the more we receive. Respect leads to acceptance.
How to practice Amanitva (Humility)?
1. Be self-reflective on our own blueprints / vasanas. When we reflect that there are millions of doers in shaping the personality of our children, it makes us feel less controlling.
2. Be self-forgiving so that we evolve from our mistakes. When we translate our anger or self-loathing into action, only then it is useful.